(A Parody)
By Martha Watson
It is March of the year 2026 and we have come to the Kingston Trailer Park in Bakersfield, California to visit Nancy Pelosi in her ancient Winnebago. Her sunken face, shriveled skin and skeletal appearance show the signs of decades of alcohol abuse.
A permanent scowl accentuates her odd-sized different eyeballs and her notorious A-Wasp-Flew-Up-My-ass expression. It is sometimes hard to tell which is more rusted out and broke-down; The Winnebago or Ms. Pelosi.
We came to ask her about some issues that have dogged her throughout her history.
Nancy Pelosi is single now. Her husband finally dumped her for an Asian co-ed from Stanford and then he died of anal cancer.
While she denies ever giving Barack Obama “too many” blow jobs, she does not deny that she helped him screw most of America.
We asked her if the quote about her stating that she was “A master legislator” was misheard. Some thought that she meant to say that she was a “Masturbater”. She said that only one of those statements was probably accurate.
The biggest question that the world seems to have for Nancy was:
“How, Ms. Pelosi, did you only get paid $170K each year by the government, yet put about one hundred million dollars in your private bank account each year? Also, as a follow-up, is it more than a coincidence that all of that one hundred million came from insider trading schemes based on laws you pushed through in Congress?”
After taking a long thoughtful swig on her white label Costco vodka she replied:
“Well, look, as a Master Legislator I uh, uh, uh, ...knew how to do stuff”
“What time are the puppies going to be here..huh? What? ..OH.. did I poop a little?..I’m sorry...”
She passed out shortly thereafter.
Now that the world has seen that the California Cartel was headed by Pelosi and that she and her gang made up the idea of “Climate Change” she is exposed. She and her crony’s used the “Cleantech Crash Scam” in order to steal trillions of dollars from the U.S. Department of Energy and the U.S. Department of Transportation in stock market insider trading scams. With these revelations her withered shadow has darkened.